


Mirror Mirror on the Wall

by SherlockWolf



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is back, Destiel - Freeform, Harry Potter - Freeform, M/M, Mirror of Erised, season 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 15:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12867834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockWolf/pseuds/SherlockWolf
Summary: Dean sees a mirror that shows him his heart's desire.





	1. Chapter 1

    Gun raised, flashlight on, Dean rounded the corner of the small basement. The room was empty, save for a standing mirror directly across from him, underneath the only window in the room. Dean approached the object slowly, keeping an eye on it to clue him in to anyone who might be behind him. Until he stood in front of the mirror, he saw nothing. Then, without warning, Castiel stepped into view to his right. After a moment of solid panic, Dean spun his head to search for the angel, but Cas wasn’t there.

Of course he wasn’t.

Looking back in the mirror, Dean saw Cas still standing there. But Cas wasn’t just standing next to him squinting as he would have in reality, as confused as Dean as to why he was standing in some random basement with the hunter. Instead, Cas was smiling that awkward half-smile of his and looking at Dean with a fondness Dean recognized because he saw it so often. His heart ached with staggering pain at the sight.

Dean watched as his reflection in the mirror turned to face Cas and took the angel’s hands in his own. The mirror shimmered a little in the sunlight from the window, and then Dean and Cas were wearing matching black tuxedoes, ties and corsages to boot. White rose petals suddenly fell from above their heads, and as the petals cleared Dean saw rows of people standing behind himself and Cas, all dressed up and smiling.

Dean turned around to check his surroundings, but he was still alone in the basement. This was getting weird.

When he turned back to the mirror the scene had changed. He and Cas were still holding hands, but now they were alone. Dean moved a few steps closer to see age lines on his face, and grey hairs too. But Cas looked as perfect, young, and timeless as always. Dean stared at the image and watched as he and Cas watched one another. Suddenly, Dean shoved a cookie into Cas’ mouth, and they both bust into giggles over some inside joke.

Dean watched as they righted themselves, Cas still with the cookie in his mouth, and his arms slung around Dean’s shoulders. Dean couldn’t understand the look that then passed between them, but then the scene changed again anyway and he and Cas were…well. That was something Dean would never un-see.

Breaking from the trance the mirror had had him in, Dean walked up to the mirror, inspecting it and its frame. Near the top were dust covered letters, so he uncovered them. _Erised_ was all it said.

Harrumphing with distaste, Dean walked away from the mirror with the images of him and Cas, and walked back to the stairs of the basement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way I wrote this is that Dean and Cas kind of have an established relationship. Like there hasn't been confessions of great love or sex or anything but they know they like each other and are physically and emotionally comfortable with one another. I wanted that to be subtext but I don't think it came across. I'll let you decide what you think by the end.


	2. Chapter 2

    Sam set a beer in front of Dean, where the older Winchester was sat at the dining table reading a book on the history of Colorado.

“Thanks.”

Sam grunted his acknowledgment and sat across the table from his brother, his own uncapped beer in hand.

“So, what was in that basement?”

“Whatdya mean?” Dean didn’t look up from the book, but he tensed.

Sam shrugged in Dean’s peripheral. “You were acting funny when you came back up.”

“I’m always funny.” Dean grinned up at his brother goofily.

Sam rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Seriously. What was down there?”

Dean paused, debating whether or not to tell Sam about the mirror. As long as he didn’t say anything about what he _saw_ there wouldn’t be a problem.

 “There was a mirror.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Mirror?”

“Yeah, it was the only thing in there.”

“Weird.”

“Yup.” Dean looked back down at his book, but his mind wouldn’t focus on the words. He was too busy waiting for Sam to keep interrogating him.

“Was there anything special about it?” Sam asked as expected and Dean sighed dramatically. He looked back up at his brother and shrugged.

“There was a word carved into the frame. Ah-ree-said, ear-ih-seed, or something.” Dean said, testing out the word since he hadn’t said it aloud before.

“Hmm.” Sam pulled his laptop over to him from its spot across the table and Dean went back to his book.

    The older Winchester had nearly finished his beer and had made it through at least ten more pages of the book when Sam made a disappointed noise and leaned back in his chair, frowning at his computer screen.

“What?” Dean asked, taking his last swig of beer and moving around the table to stand behind his brother’s chair when Sam waved him over. On Sam’s screen were just a bunch of open internet tabs related to _Harry Potter_.

“You brought me over here to show me nerd stuff?” Dean judged, though he was actively reading the article from some site named _Pottermore_ that Sam had open.

“ _No_ ,” Sam insisted, then gestured frustrated at the computer, “All I can find about a mirror and an Erised is that it’s from _Harry Potter_. Apparently when you look at yourself in it you see your heart’s desire manifested.”

Dean’s blood ran cold. “Wait, _what?_ ”

Sam looked up at him with a very surprised and somewhat gleeful expression. “You saw this mirror.”

“Uh, no.” Dean tried to make the suggestion sound ridiculous, but failed because Sam began to grin.

“So, what’d you see?” Sam asked in his nosy tone, which Dean had hated since they were kids.

“Nothing. It was just regular. Must’ve been owned by a fan.” Dean said, then left and headed for the kitchen.

“Mhmm.” Sam hummed disbelievingly, but he didn’t press further.


	3. Chapter 3

    A few nights later, Dean was sitting at the desk in his room, scrolling through online news papers for some kind of case. He hadn’t found anything in the hour he’d been in there hiding from Sam, Jack, and Cas who were having some kind of family reunion around the dining table.

Though he was thrilled beyond wits to have Cas back, the last thing he wanted was the sit around a table and have disapproving looks thrown at him while Sam and Jack tattled on Dean’s comments against Jack. And he was sure they would tell Cas, because there was no way to avoid the angel finding out how much Dean resented the kid’s very existence. Occasionally Dean felt ashamed of his own behaviour and feelings toward Jack, because he really wasn’t giving the kid a chance, and hadn’t he and Sam once vowed to give monsters a chance when they could?

    There was a knock on his door, and Cas’ voice asked if he could come in. Dean grunted in response, and Cas opened the door and slid inside. Dean didn’t look up from his computer as Cas closed the door and crossed the room to stand next to him. Dean wasn’t sure why he didn’t look up, but he suddenly felt on edge.

“Dean.” Cas said, his voice calm and tired, as it so often was. A small shiver ran down Dean’s spine; he’d never imagined he’d hear that gravelly voice again.

“Yeah.” Dean acknowledged, still pretending to read the news article in front of him. Cas was going to chastise him about his comments to Jack, he just knew it.

“We need to talk.”

“I know.” Dean sighed, and finally leaned back in his chair and looked up at Cas, no less tense than when the angel walked in the room.

Cas was looking down at him with a mix of concern and exasperation. The exasperation was expected, and Dean supposed the concern should’ve been too, but he was still surprised by it.

Cas moved away and sat on the side of Dean’s bed, bending over to untie his shoes and push them aside. Dean turned around in his chair as Cas threw his coat and jacket over onto the couch next to the desk. They looked at one another for a moment, Dean waiting for Cas to berate him while Cas thought of how to begin.

“Sam told me things you did while I was…dead.”

Dean just nodded, ready for a lecture he would probably dismiss anyway.

“I’m worried about you.”

Well, that was unexpected.

“Worried?”

“Yes. Dean, you,” Cas swallowed, and he briefly closed his eyes before saying delicately, “You can’t throw your life away like that.”

For once it was Dean’s turn to squint in confusion. Cas wasn’t taking about Jack. He was talking about Dean’s…suicidal behaviour. He just didn’t want to name it for what it was. Even Dean was reluctant to acknowledge it as such.

“You can’t throw your life away because of me.” Cas said softer, quieter.

Dean’s heart skipped a beat. Had Sam told Cas that? There was no way Sam knew _Cas_ was the reason Dean had wanted to die so badly. He’d hardly admitted it as the reason himself, much less told his brother.

“I wasn’t.” Dean mumbled feebly, but knew his defense was worthless because Cas began to glare at him.

“Dean.” He said sternly, and Dean gave in.

Cas knew that Dean had lost his will to live. Cas knew that Dean had lost his will to live _because_ Cas was dead. Cas knew that Dean couldn’t live without him, despite having to because Sam needed him and he still needed Sam. Even through the soul-crushing pain of losing Cas.

“Yeah, alright.” He shrugged, eyes on Cas’ socked feet.

There was a moment of silence as they acknowledged what that meant, then Cas set his hand on the bed next to him and told Dean to join him. Dean pulled himself up and over to Cas, sitting next to the angel on the side of the bed. He ran a hand through his hair before putting his head in his hands and looking down at his knees, yet again waiting for Cas to say something. There wasn’t any way in hell he was going to speak first.

Dean felt the angel’s eyes on him, but his thoughts were racing and keeping his body on lockdown.

“Dean.”

Cas’ voice was what grounded him, and Dean turned his head to meet his gaze, head still resting on his hands.

“Are you okay?” Cas asked, and he reached out as if to touch Dean but then thought better of it and let his hand fall between them. It was then that Dean realized how close he’d sat next to Cas. Their thighs nearly touched, and Cas’ hand had almost landed on Dean’s thigh rather than his own.

Dean considered his answer, then told him, “No. I’m not okay, Cas. I was so afraid to lose you and then you _died._ And this wasn’t any weird explosions or angel mojo, there were _wings_. You were...” Dean’s voice cracked horribly as his emotions caught up with his words,

“Gone.”

Dean’s voice shook, and he felt his body trembling too. The pain of the past month was accumulating in his chest and he felt himself unraveling. Castiel was alive, here, in his room, looking at him, listening to him, speaking to him, and all Dean could do was shake with despair and joy.

“I’ve lost you before, but not like that. And I’ve known since the last time you died that if it happened again I wouldn’t survive it. Hell, if it weren’t for Sammy, I wouldn’t have.”

_I almost didn’t’ anyway. If it weren’t for Death herself I’d be in Heaven right now, but that would’ve been—._

The feeling of a firm hand around his wrist pulled Dean from his mind, and he realized he’d fallen back into his thoughts. Cas pulled him into a hug, awkwardly wrapping his arms around Dean’s shoulders until Dean’s body unfroze and he melted into Cas, putting his arms around the angel’s waist and adjusting so that they were both comfortable. Dean’s head ended up resting against Cas’ collar bone, and the weight of the angel’s head on top of his own was incredible.

The hug was exactly what Dean needed, but he would never admit that aloud. He needed to feel Cas right now so he wouldn’t forget Cas was really alive. The feeling of relief and elation was as intoxicating as the warmth of Cas around him.

They sat that way until Dean felt his body getting stiff. He shifted to try to get into a better position, but Cas misunderstood and moved away, probably thinking Dean wanted to rest. The angel stood and headed for the couch to pick up his jackets. Dean didn’t let him get that far. He reached out and grabbed Cas’ wrist and dragged him right back. Cas stumbled and fell against Dean, who just rolled with the weight and fell on his back against the mattress. Cas’ elbow was jutting into his stomach, one of his knees pressing against Dean’s leg, but Dean could care less. Cas’ face was maybe an inch from his own, and the proximity was…

Dean felt his cheeks flush slightly. Cas squinted at him, clearly confused as to how he’d ended up in this position.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Dean grunted under Cas’ weight.

Cas proceeded to look more confused, though a smile was creeping onto his face.

“I…was going to leave so you could sleep.” He said, breath ghosting against Dean’s face.

“Don’t wanna.” Dean said, and he let his other hand fall against Cas’ shoulder.

Cas sighed in what Dean knew was mock frustration, then pushed himself up and off of Dean, accidently jabbing him harder with his elbow in the process. Then, Cas flopped on the bed next to him.

“Did you want to keep talking?” The angel asked after an awkward moment of staring in silence.

“Sure. Just don’t…go.” Dean said, folding his arms over his chest and weaving his fingers together. Cas copied him, then said,

“Tell me about the hunts you’ve gone on recently.”

Cas had already been filled in about the hunt they’d been on the night he was resurrected, so Dean told him about an earlier routine ghost hunt. He was halfway through the set up for the case when he realized that that case was where the mirror had been sitting alone in the basement of the ghost’s house. But it was too late for him to stop, so he plowed through until he got to describing what he saw in the mirror.

“It wasn’t a normal mirror, was it?” Cas broke the silence, and he sat up to look down at Dean, his face calculating. Dean couldn’t look away, his eyes admiring the angel’s scruff. Was it possible for him to miss scruff?

“No. It…it had a name. Erised.”

Recognition flitted across Cas’ face.

Dean knew he was cornered.

“What did it show you?”

“Us. Me and you.”

Cas’ endearing half-smile appeared. He cocked his head to the side and said disbelievingly, “Really?”

“Yeah.”

Dean’s heart fluttered at the admission.

“Does it actually, you know…work?”

Cas nodded. “What else did you see?”

Dean described every image he’d seen in the mirror except for the last one, which he left out tactfully enough that Cas didn’t notice his discomfort. Cas didn’t react or say anything for a while, and eventually he merely asked Dean to finish telling him how the rest of the hunt went. Dean obliged, but the need to know that Cas wasn’t judging him—or worse, rejecting him—for his heart’s desire crept along the edges of his mind.

Once he’d finished, Dean decided he may as well get ready for bed. Cas hadn’t been wrong, it was getting late, and he was tired especially after revealing…what he just had. He stood and walked over to his closet, searching through his hamper for his pajama pants. It was amazing how they always seemed to get to the middle of the pile even though he could’ve sworn he put them on top every morning. He shucked his short off, ran a hand through his hair, and turned around to find Cas staring at him. Not that it was unexpected, but Dean’s stomach did something weird at the sight.

“Uh. Can I have a second to change?” Dean shook the pants in his hands to indicate what he meant.

“Yeah. I won’t look.” Cas said, and flopped back on the bed with his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“Sure you won’t.” Dean mumbled under his breath, suddenly feeling brave. Keeping an eye on Cas to make sure he kept his word, Dean changed into the pajamas, then walked over to the angel, who met his eyes.

“You gonna keep lying sideways, or do you want to use a bed like a normal person?” Dean teased.

Cas smirked but didn’t say anything for a moment. Then the angel asked, his hand trailing upward toward Dean’s naked chest,

“You said we were wearing tuxes and standing in front of a crowd of people we knew, didn’t you?”

Dean just nodded, unsure where Cas was going with this.

“It was a wedding.” Cas stated.

Dean didn’t argue.

Cas grinned, and placed his hand, splayed, over Dean’s hip. Cas’ skin was cold against his own, and for a moment it almost made Dean think he was dreaming and that Cas was still dead. Then, using his grip on Dean, Cas hauled himself upward so that he was eye level with Dean’s chest. Looking up at him with round eyes, Cas said,

“Who was there?”

“Everyone. Sam, Bobby, Mom, Dad, Missouri, Ellen, Jo, Charlie, Kevin, Claire, Jody, Donna, Alex…everyone.”

“Is that something you really want, Dean?” Cas’ voice was nearly a whisper.

“I…I’ve never thought about it, Cas. Marriage,” Dean almost choked on the word, “Doesn’t go with this life.”

“I know,” Cas agreed, “But what about the meaning behind it?”

“Meaning?”

“Dedication. Trust.” Cas hesitated, then said, “Love.”

Oh. He did want those things, had always wanted those things. From Cas. Most of the time he had them, though there were times where Cas had done things Dean didn’t agree with or things that were betrayals.

“Cas, I…I can’t ask you…You…” Dean sighed. His thoughts were a tangled mess. Here was his perfect opportunity to tell Cas that he needed him in the way Dean had needed very few people in his entire life. Instead of telling thin air in hopes that a dead angel’s ears would hear him, Dean could tell him right here, right now. He owed it to himself to be honest. He owed it to Cas.

“Is that something you want? The meaning?” He turned the question on Cas.

“Yes.” Cas’ voice was certain.

Dean took both of Cas’ hands in his own. He made sure Cas could feel how he was trembling with excitement and fear, and that he was looking at him, before saying sincerely,

“I love you, Castiel.”

Cas beamed.

“I love you, too, Dean.”

Dean couldn’t help his own smile. He stepped back and pulled Cas up to his feet before bringing the angel into a tight hug again. The buttons of Cas’ shirt dug into his chest as the angel hugged him back. Dean rested his head against Cas’ and let the tension leak from his body. Cas pressed a quick kiss against Dean’s neck.

The tenderness of the moment weighed on Dean, and he forced himself to let go of Cas only once he’d convinced himself that they’d be touching in just another minute.

“Gonna get the light.” He said as he walked over to the switch. He looked back to see Cas just standing there.

“It’s still not a decoration.” Dean said, lazily gesturing with his hand at the bed. When Cas took the hint and began to climb in, Dean flipped off the light.

In the bed, he and Cas organized themselves so that Dean could fall asleep and Cas would be comfortable to stay until he felt like doing something else. The angel’s head rested against Dean’s chest over his heart, with his hair tickling Dean’s chin. Dean’s arm was slung around Cas’ shoulders, his other hand in Cas’.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean woke to find himself pressed against a warm, soft body, his face pressed against a clothed chest that was humming a song that Dean slowly began to recognize as his mind caught up with reality. An arm was slung over his shoulders, and Dean decided he never wanted to move.

Unfortunately, his bladder soon began to disagree with him and he had to get up. When he came back freshened up from the bathroom, he found Cas folding his jackets. Dean decided to bother to put a shirt on, before he grumbled, “coffee”, and headed for the kitchen. The soft thump of socks on stone behind him told him Cas was following.

The kitchen was empty, so Dean began to dig through the kitchen while Cas made coffee. It was a years-old routine. Dean liked the way Cas made coffee, and Cas liked the way Dean made bacon and egg bagel sandwiches when they had the time for them.

Dean gratefully took the mug he was offered while he tended the bacon, and Cas leaned against the wall near the stove, watching Dean and sipping at his own cup.

The routine may have been the same, but the feeling was _very_ different. Dean felt a little intimidated by it, but at the same time he knew that fundamentally, nothing had changed. Except he’d get to kiss Cas now, instead of just throw him lingering glances.

As soon as the thought crossed Dean’s mind, he froze, forgetting where he was and what he was doing. A loud pop from the bacon brought him back to Earth, and he focused on the food rather than the heat he suddenly _imagined_ was rolling off Cas.

Cas seemed to notice the change in Dean’s behaviour, because he moved away and sat at the kitchen table, picking up one of Sam’s _Smithsonian_ magazines and flipping through it.

When the bagels were finished, Dean sat next to Cas on the bench, their thighs pressed against one another. They ate in silence, Cas enjoying his magazine and Dean waking up via coffee and food.

Sam came in, picked up his own sandwich and coffee that had been left on the counter, and sat across from the other two. Jack trailed in behind him and sat next to Sam. Dean hadn’t forgotten the kid, so he got up briefly to fetch Jack’s food since he’d missed it and pushed it in front of it. Dean was glad that Jack at least had good taste in food.

“I found a case.” Sam said, and Dean made a sound of mock disappointment.

“On what?”

“Not sure, but it’s going to be in Dodge City.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile. Cas gave him a sideways, judgmental look. Dean winked at him, and Cas rolled his eyes.

“Um…guys?” Sam asked, clearly having seen their exchange.

“What?” Dean feigned innocence, and Cas continued to read the magazine as though he’d never moved.

Sam scoffed but let it slide.


End file.
